Possession
by Addicts Inc
Summary: What happens when the two most cowardly, spiteful bullies who were spineless carbon-copies of their fathers meet, and discover that they hold exclusive rights to the same obsession? Probably the most embarrassing day of Harry's life, that's what. AU


**Possession**

This was possibly one of the most embarrassing days of Harry Potter's life.

And that was saying something, Harry thought as he tried to charm the ground into swallowing him up, seeing as he'd just begun dating his best friend's little sister. That sort of relationship was just begging for embarrassment.

-0-

Harry genuinely hadn't intended, or indeed thought, that his house would become a halfway home for the dislodged and vaguely threatened after the war. The Ministry only had so many safe houses, and only so much patience. All too soon Harry had realised that there was a gaping hole in the security for threatened muggle-relatives and low key followers of Voldemort undergoing reform. Sadly, Harry had realised this whilst in a lecture of his new Auror training course, and, even worse, he had gone and spoken up about it.

Number Twelve Grimmauld Place had been re-opened, and currently housed a small number of people under the Ministry's protection. Bunk beds were everywhere. There were two families Harry had never met; the Arrowsmiths and the Connors.

The other two, were rather well known to him.

In the green bedroom, there was one family of three. They were called the Dursleys.

In the back bedroom, there was a mother and son (the father being in Azkaban). They were called the Malfoys.

-0-

"So...you're one of them then?" Dudley asked, his small eyes narrowed.  
>"What do mean, one of them?" Draco replied, his eyes even narrower.<p>

Harry was stood to one side in the kitchen. He had been helping Dudley acquaint himself with the hybrid magic-muggle cooking facilities (Vernon and Petunia had hidden in their room), when Draco, with his usual talent for finding painful situations for Harry, had crept into the room. Draco and Dudley were now facing off in Harry's kitchen. Harry thought he might be dreaming.

"You know, one of those _magicians_."

"The word," Draco said, bristling with indignation "is _wizard_. And don't you speak to me in that tone- I am your better, and you would do well to act like it."

"Malfoy-" Harry began pleadingly.

"Go away Potter."

"Yeah, go to your room, Potter." Dudley grinned. "You can't just tell him to go away, he'll only go somewhere worse and find trouble." Dudley advised Draco, sensing a fellow Harry Hunter. "You've got to give him a direct instruction."

"At least I can understand an instruction." Harry grumbled. He knew this was going to happen; Dudley and Draco would gang up and, drawn together by their hatred of Harry, overcome their backgrounds and prejudices to make his life a living hell.

"Oi shut your mouth before I bloody it!" Dudley threatened.

Draco gave Dudley an appraising look. "Hmm, and here was me thinking Potter lived a life of luxury in his holidays." He looked Dudley up and down. "I'm glad to see you know how to handle him properly."

"Yeah well," Dudley puffed himself up, "when you've been systematically targeting the same boy for seventeen years, you get good."

Harry shuffled from foot to foot and waved the spatula in hopes they could get back to explaining the newly installed muggle-friendly kitchen.

"You do Harry-Huinting as a hobby too then?" Dudley asked, completely ignoring his cousin.

"Yeah. I haven't had the same duration as you, obviously, as I've only known him at school, but I've had a whole war and magic on my side. The real trick is to insult his friends' families. He's gotten immune to taunts about his own now."

"Oh yeah? You good at it?"

"Good at it?" Draco scoffed. "I've inspired so much hatred and fear I got him banned from sports for life – even after school!"

"Wow. Funny, I would have thought he would mention you some time."

Draco went pale. More so than usual. "What do you mean, he hasn't mentioned me?"

"Nah, not once. Never heard of you."

Draco managed to gape in shock and look completely insulted at the same time.

-0-

"Come on Harry," Dudley shoved him towards the door; "I'm bored now. Let's go unpack my bags."

"Quit it." Harry rubbed his shoulder ruefully. "And besides, I thought you and Malfoy were going to get a cup of tea and swap tips."

Dudley looked over at Draco. "Nah, he's stopped speaking."

"You shocked him." Harry explained, though he wasn't sure why he bothered. "He's not used to finding out he's not all that important. Rather like you, ey Duddikins?"

Dudley scowled and stepped forward to loom over Harry. "You call me that again and I'll-"

Later, Harry would blame the tension from so many different incompatible personalities, societies and personal histories that had been flung together in the house. He would also blame Draco and Dudley being stupid. Anything to explain to Hermione why he thought it was a good idea to continue goading his cousin.

"You'll what?" Harry shot back smartly. "I can legally use _magic_, this is _my_ house, and you are _my_ guest. You'll what, _Duddikins_?"

"I'm still bigger than you." Dudley grunted, before socking Harry in the jaw and launching himself at his cousin.

-0-

"Stop right there."

Dudley squeaked and froze, half pinning his cousin to the wall and half trying to run away. Unfortunately, Draco Malfoy had his wand pressed against Dudley's jaw.

Everyone in the room took a minute to take a breather and try to take stock of the scene in the kitchen.

-0-

Harry Potter was held against a wall, glasses askew and suddenly starting to doubt his rather rash come back.

Dudley Durlsey was as a statue, only his eyes moving frantically and his right arm shaking slightly with the effort it took not to punch his cousin.

Draco Malfoy was the only one not in a state of physical dishevelment, a steady hand holding his wand and an enraged expression on his face.

-0-

"M-Malfoy, what are you doing?" Harry asked finally, wishing his voice hadn't cracked.

"Get your hands, off my Scarhead." Draco ground out, still boring a hole in Dudley's skull.

Dudley's brow furrowed. The tiny cogs in his dusty mind clicked over. They took two and two and failed to make five. Or even four. "But...but I thought you liked beating up Harry." He said in confusion.

"Only _I_ hurt Potter. Only _I_ know how to hurt him best. And _I_ will not tolerate other people breaking my things." Malfoy said. "Get your filthy muggle hands off him."

Harry's eyebrows shot up his forehead.

Dudley let go of Harry's shirt like he had been scalded.

"And step away."

Dudley stepped, Draco's wand following him across the room.

Draco calmly pocketed his wand, but the high spots of colour refused to disappear from his cheeks.

-0-

"Well." Harry said, trying in vain to regain control of the situation. "I never knew you cared, Draco."

"You do not get to call me that, Potter." Draco snapped. "And don't think I did it for any concern for your well being." He squared his shoulders. "I've had unlimited and exclusive bullying rights over you Potter, for the past seven years. That's a valuable commodity to hold over the most famous preteen in the wizarding world. I'm not giving it up that easily. Especially to a fat muggle."

"I'm not fat!" Dudley exclaimed, in exactly the same moment and pitch as Harry protested "I am not a preteen!"

"_You_ are fat, and _you_ might as well be a preteen." Draco retorted.

-0-

Faced with petty insults, and now that the wand was out of sight, Dudley felt he was on surer, better known ground. So sure, in fact, that he ventured to emulate his father; and spoke when he really ought to have remained silent. "You-you're wrong!" He looked very proud of himself for being so brave in the face of wizardry. "I've had him since I was a baby. He's _my_ toy."

"No!" Draco nearly stamped his foot. "Don't be stupid – he's _my_ Potter! My Potter to bend and break as much as _I_ like!"

"You'd never do it right anyway!" Dudley retorted. "You don't know him like I do!"

"I will not stand for this! He's mine, and he always will be! Potter!" He whirled round to face the boy, Dudley turned also, so they were both staring at him furiously. "Tell him, Potter! Tell your oaf of a cousin that I'm right!"

"No – tell him, tell that _wizard_, how many hours, how many _years_ I've put into your breaking – tell him you're mine! It's my right!"

"Tell him, Potter!"

"Tell him!"

-0-

Harry stared at the pair of them, flabbergasted.

He finally knew what happens when the two most cowardly, spiteful bullies who were spineless carbon-copies of their fathers met, and discovered they held exclusive rights to the same obsession.

Harry looked between the two of them, threw his hands up in the air, and walked out the door.

"Leave 'em to it, I'd say."


End file.
